Gender Stereotypes

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You are not “supposed” to do this. You are not “supposed” to do that. Okay fine, you’re “ allowed” to do this. You can go there, but you can’t be here! You can live like that there, but what are you doing right now? Who are you going with, when will you come back? Do you know where you belong? Women don’t know how to drive. Do you know where your place is? Do you remember your boundaries? Why would you think about doing that? What are you wearing? You are looking like such a boy! Why you behaving like such a girl? You can’t go to the temple today. How are you working out so much? Weight lifting is only for men! What will PEOPLE say?

There are a million more things, but let’s stop for now.

Everyone’s been through this, heard it, read it, believed it or identified with these statements in some way. They have floating around since the time we were born. They have been dug into our thought process and living process.

Divisions have been made, distinctions have been declared, between man and woman, with extreme definitions of the masculine and feminine forcing us to believe and live a certain way.

School to college, to work, to every area of our life , it is defined by her and him. It’s more of an obsession rather than a simplification.

Everywhere we go, GENDER has become a way of life. There is no existence without gender. There is no logic without gender. There is no moving forward without the understanding of gender. Society has made this a comparative life , comparing gender, men and women.

What we don’t realize is, socially we are a comparative life but existentially we are a complete life.

Society keeps encouraging this division , this way of being which leads to conflict known as GENDER STEREOTYPING.

Let’s take a step back and examine why have we made these divisions? Is to glorify man and woman or is it to make life simpler? Hasn’t division always been the base of understanding human nature mentally and biologically?

These divisions have no purpose , defining how a man is supposed to live, how a woman is supposed to be has just led to compulsiveness in trying to achieve a certain way of life. Stereotypes whether formed through humor or disgrace have the same consequences.

Gender has no basis, it has no meaning. It is only because of the reproductive organs have we defined GENDER. If we remove the organs and we remove the male and female hormones, what will remain? A piece of life , that is it, all we will see around is a piece of life.

It is our compulsiveness with sexuality , with the physical body that has turned our society into a raging gender hungry race. When a child is born, it is the coming together of the male and female, it is ridiculous how gender is given such huge importance just based on the reproductive organs after birth.

Gender stereotyping is happening because of this obsession to carry one’s womanhood and manhood with them 24 hours a day. The only place where Gender is relevant is the bathroom and the bedroom.

Yes, gender stereotyping is all around us. The only examples that are picked up and spoken about are the one’s which affect people, which cause some grief to them. But if you look around and pay attention stereotyping is just present everywhere.

There is nothing as millennials that we NEED to DEAL with stereotypes. We need to break all identifications and barriers in our head and look at people as just people , as pure life. The more we talk about man and woman as separate entities the more deeper this issue will dig.

Instead of making divisions, let us approach this topic with togetherness and as a collective entity and not scrutinising the natural existential pattern we are supposed to follow and be.


Sssh, Can you keep a Secret ?


There is beauty in not knowing. There is far more beauty in not telling. The best secrets are the ones never shared. The most paramount moments are the ones experienced alone. There is comfort in just being. There is thrill in exclusivity

Sharing moments in the real and virtual world, starts as a habitual pattern and many a times ends with a hackneyed nature. The message often gets lost in translation. Some experiences are carved out especially for just us. These experiences are meant to just be. They are meant for us and us only.

We take great pride, in the objects we possess. Sole ownership, makes us view the object more favorably. Does that mean, we are open to sharing our possessions with the world? Then, why so lenient with experiences? Transferring this ownership effect from object to experience, let us give oneself the privilege of completely owning the moment as well!

Sharing information often leads to analyzing situations, analyzing people. Thoughts, feelings , behaviors are broken down to be made sense of. Once in a lifetime occurrences, undergo the most intense audits. Truth be repeated, human behavior rarely fails it’s outlandish, unusual nature. Ditch the scrutiny. Let the secret remain, and you a mystery!

Let’s open ourselves, more deeply to ourselves. Let’s be atypical and do things we never done. There is abundance in privateness, there is adventure in privateness. We are extraordinary in ourselves, to experience what this earth has to offer. As bizarre as it is, narratives and instagram will never be able to catch on the vibe.



Emotionally Unintelligent


Expressing what you feel for someone to that very someone, does this make you a super human? Not really, it’s just that no one deserves your confusion or displaced emotion.

We humans parallelly experience and interpret multiple emotions for different people around us all the time. The reason why we are capable of doing so is our advanced brain capacity among all living species.

We always know what’s going on in our head and for whom. Yes sometimes we get stuck but if we dig a little deep, we can manage, what we were trying to micromanage what got lost in translation.

It just takes effort and off course acceptance, to understand why we were feeling a certain way about a certain someone or a certain something, or just towards our own selves, which is why, we get lost . . . . .

The sad part is that, some people accredit all these realizations about digging deep and awareness of one’s emotions to a special kind “ those high on emotional intelligence “

Every single person has the same interiority with the same emotional intelligence; it is just a choice that every single person makes. Choices between acceptance or hiding behind defense mechanisms like displacement of emotions. Letting these defense mechanisms explain how un-established our emotions are.

What really matters is how much importance we give to thought and emotion in this whole energy exchange. Glorifying our own thoughts and emotions towards others is a waste of life.

What really matters is what people receive regardless of how we are feeling or what we are obsessing over.

What really matters is how we manage ourselves from within. This isn’t a super power; you need to stick your hands in mud, to smell a flower.

Now how did i become so smart, how did i let go of my stupid defence, this emotional unintelligence, well, the one who expresses, what they feel for someone to that very someone , knocked some sense 🙂

Math, outside a classroom!

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We like addition, we like subtraction, we like breaking things down. We like to understand what got us to a moment, why are we in this moment, how did we get to this moment. Especially if the moment is sitting on the extreme end of a spectrum. We just need to know how so happy or why this agony or how come only mediocrity. We just always want to know.

Whether the outcome is good, bad or better than expected, whether we felt awesome or dealing with confusion, all this knowing turns into nostalgic recollecting and quintessential storytelling. Repeatedly reminiscing everything that made your heart smile , head ache, body hurt and soul shine, all these wonderful experiences , you can safely say “are all mine”. Multiple reference points, multiple stimulus generators, its been colorful, dear God, you’ve been kind. Unabashedly celebrating moments to last a lifetime.

What about the moment, we are in, now? What is this debate, on being in the moment about? Does getting too nostalgic undermine the importance of where we are now? Is it necessary there has to be a deep cosmic, karmic connection between everything that was and everything that remains?


It might be fun, fixating how we came to a certain point. Truth is, after a while it doesn’t matter. The present moment demands our attention, independent of the additions and subtractions. It is tempting this endless calculation but what about this raw, untouched, current situation? We need to think and act now , we can survive and win this without the burden of past creation.

There is a thin line of balance and importance, between living this moment and reliving past madness, after all, we are always adding current moments, to our never ending calculus.

Just do it. . . NOW!


Thanks Nike for the motivation, but people don’t get it eh ?

Why is it so bloody difficult, to not be in the now? Why do we constantly think about our past and our future? What is so so wrong, with where we are now? Why are we so distracted? Why is being in the moment not enough? Why does it seem less? Why does it not feel right?

We enjoy thinking about our lovely past and our fantastic future!

Only if we realize what is right now, will also become a part of this lovely past one day. If we will find it lovely a couple of months later, why can’t we believe it to be lovely right now?


Addiction to memory, addiction to nostalgia, addiction to the fact that it’s always going to be there with us. What becomes a memory has permanent nature. What we are experiencing right now does not have that. Human beings are wired to fantasize and cling on to permanency, anything short lived is labeled outlandish.

Anything just left alone without being over analyzed, critically evaluated and detached from memory is seen as foreign. We still cannot make peace with it

People are advised to be in the moment, people are forced to let go of the past, I have to pinch myself at times to appreciate my surroundings and wake up from the shackles of my slumber! Being on the same frequency with where we stand right now is not a superpower, it is the most natural state of being and we have forgotten that. There are way too many cues pulling us to our past and drawing us to the future.

Everything and everyone reminding you of your past and treating you as you were in the past has no better way of navigating life and understanding you. It is sad but true how past experiences drive current and future dealings. Our past is not solid proof of the person we WERE.

Kill your darlings, burn them, be the phoenix that rises out of these ashes, fresh, powerful and blank!

The current moment has it’s own madness. You can only identify that when you will chuck memory and live out of awareness

There is no perfect day, everyday is just a colourful variant of the imagined perfect day. This moment right now is perfect , which is enough and absolutely okay!

There is no special occasion, that special occasion is now. Wear that dress today, workout right now, get that haircut now, and stop building momentum.

Momentum of this moment right now, is 100 times more powerful than planned momentum a week or month later.

Hell yeah, feel it?!




Little Boxes

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Comfort is a precarious place to be. It can drive us to do ridiculous things…when hit with unpredictability. Once scared, our cognitive capabilities can be pushed towards exhaustion. Navigating through uncertainty definitely becomes a priority. Life hacks and quick fixes pitch in well here. Little boxes in our brains are ready to break down and store all unorganized information… Of course at the back of our head, those questions keep dancing. Do our rationalizations make sense? Are we being judgmental or fair? Have we considered all aspects? Are we going too fast? Just because, it doesn’t make sense to me now, can I justify it later?

We become experts at finding reasons for our thoughts and behaviors, Clever?
NO, that in no way implies that we do really understand why we act or think in a certain way.


What makes unpredictability so uncomfortable?

FEAR: Definition 1: an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain, or harm. Definition 2: be afraid of (someone or something) as likely to be dangerous, painful, or harmful. Definition 3: that female from the movie ORPHAN (made me pee my pants)

What is your biggest fear? That’s what everyone asks everyone. Mine is Definition 3 , Ha-ha ! Truth is, I don’t think I will ever meet that female and neither will you come across that spider ! Very rarely do people ask, what about the fears that consume us now? What about the realest fears we face, every single day in our lives?

Survival…. always guarding and protecting ourselves. Who do we really need to guard ourselves from? Where do we source our threats and anxiety? People. YES. What? NO, not people, how? Well, million unknown faces, billion unpredictable emotions. How do we make sense of this world and all these people?

Danger of unknown is scary (So many people…. who can I trust?)
Unpredictability of the known is threatening (Yes, uncertainty from our closest is one of our BIGGEST fears)

Are we okay with unpredictable? Yes…eventually. Humans have an adaptive nature. Where do these survival games lead us? Little boxes filled with comfort.
Yes, tiny, little, petite, neat boxes, sat quietly in our head. All the information our brain takes in, is micromanaged in these little boxes. Thanks to our superior cognitive abilities, forming concepts and categories runs parallel with teething. Concepts give stability. Stability is an aphrodisiac. Boxes imperceptibly radiate aphrodisiac. The human gets comfortable. Categories are navigation’s quick fix. Concepts and categories help us make sense of the world, destroy unpredictability, and KILL fear. Convenient? Yes, Successful? Hell Yes, after all survival of the fittest.

What could possibly go wrong? Human behavior, not fitting into parameters? Little boxes , too weak to handle stereotypes ? CHAOS, back to square 1 ? Before the boxes self-destruct, let’s toss them out. Little boxes, little boxes, ticky tacky little boxes…

There is abundance in openness. There is freedom in de categorization. There is comfort in acceptance. Demographics, sun signs, ethnicity, stable personality traits, managerial styles, parental upbringing, strange habits etc can never fulfill what we seek to know. Eccentric and outlandish is the genesis of human behavior. Our reality is happening due to energy exchange in the NOW. What we were in the past is nowhere close to stable grounds, except burden.

In killing unpredictability, we are slaying our own efforts of self-preservation. After all we are also chilling somewhere in someone’s little box.








Above and Beyond


What do we think about majority of our time?

What occupies 210% of our mind space?

What is it that we can’t get enough of?


What else?

One is involved in everything one does . Each and every thought , each and every action, everything around you is your magnified extension. How does one not think about oneself, whether in isolation or conjunction? After all, God’s favorite creation!

How hard is it, to ignore this massive throbbing piece of life? Existing, creating impressions, right here and worldwide. Wow, grossly talented but insanely forgetful, you’re not alone, in making this place beautiful. Life is all around us, in everything beyond us. We alone are not life.

The question is not, if you want to you don’t want to? The concern is, do you have the courage to ? Look up and accept life? Or just keep floating, fantasising how shallow it is to dive. Going beyond oneself, this energy for something else, are you willing to manifest?

Can you commit yourself to something larger than you?

Create something bigger than you?

So what will it take, to interest you in experiences way beyond you?











Keep your SHINE on!


Life is good. Life is complete. We are life. We are complete. That’s the absolute nature of our creation.

Life is always full of that warm fuzzy feeling. The one that creates nostalgia and excitement at the same time. Don’t believe me?

Take a moment. Cup each hand on the side of your neck below each ear, close your eyes and look up. Open your mouth a little and smile. Mmmm ….. so good !

We all wish to feel like this 24 x 7 x 365 …… so good, so blissful!

What happens though?
Why does life stop feeling this way?
Where do these feelings of rapture disappear?
Why do feelings of unhappiness creep in?

The problem
We believe that euphoria, joy and peace is a state we NEED to reach. We consider these levels of awareness as the highest state of being. Truth is, this ridiculous hierarchy needs to demolished. Bliss and euphoria should be the most basic state from where we operate, and not some fancy esoteric bullshit.

No new car or nibbling LSD stamps, whatever it takes, is needed to get you THERE! We are quite capable of reaching these crazy happy states of ecstasy with our own internal mechanisms. SUCH is LIFE. We are life and we are complete.

We need to change our understanding, of what is and what not , what is thought and what is life. We pay way too much attention to our thoughts and emotions.

Thought vs Life
Attention has to be shifted from thoughts to life . Life is what is happening in the present moment. When we focus on life rather than thought we are truly aware and truly alive. Our thoughts and emotions are independent of us.

Free of thoughts – Give up your conclusions
Forget everything you know, about everyone you know. Each and every single day just forget anything and everything. Let go of thoughts, emotions and assumptions. We assume thoughts and emotions = intellect, which messes with our mental framework taking away that warm fuzzy feeling.

Stop telling yourself the things you can or cannot do. We have too many ideas about things we haven’t seen and experienced.

Stop thinking, Start living. Break all these radars and barriers.

This memory , these thoughts and emotions do guide us in terms of basic survival instincts. That’s what they do, only protecting us, inhibiting growth.

Our focus should be on life , and not thoughts to guide us. When we become life we are not alone, this life within us is in sync with life around us and the universe.

The universe guides us better than anything else. All we need to do is pay attention, a very heightened level of attention

Don’t dimmer your shimmer, these thoughts are not everything we know, experiencing life is how we will grow , what made us sad in the past is long gone and futile, look around, a trillion reasons to smile. Don’t like the view ? Well shut your eyes , take a deep breath and smile, damn , how good does it feel to be alive!

(This article is completely inspired by Sadhguru , this is a humble attempt to pass on his message )

The greatest LOVE Affair!

IMG_2736Love can be found anywhere. Music, art , people , nature , food, poetry. Everything conceived with love, creates an intoxicating cycle of love. Feeding the lovesick , nurturing the soul , calming the mind and warming the heart. Pure feeling of ecstasy emitting heavy doses of oxytocin. We all want it, keep going back to it. Continuously searching for that song , that painting, that person, that flower , that dish, those words. Addiction is sweet and love ? the genesis of addiction.

What makes us go back ? Is it just the hormones ? Is it just the feeling ? Well, TRUST. Yes. Trusting and chasing that high. Trusting that source of delirium to give us what we want. Off course we all know what happens , when contact is broken with the source.

So what is the greatest love affair?

Have you ever experienced, how is it to spend time with yourself? Mind, body , soul committed to oneself. Completely shutting off all external experience. How does it feel? Lovely or lonely?

Completely dissolving in oneself is trust. Following your gut is trust. Trusting yourself amongst others is courage. Trusting yourself in isolation is love. Are you are in love with yourself?

When does a person write about love ? Well, this is my greatest love affair.



Why do people explain themselves? Whose need is it? The one explaining, or the one listening?

You don’t owe an explanation to anyone. You don’t owe anyone a ‘YES’. You don’t owe anyone anything that does not add value to your life. Absolutely not!

We would all love that, the way we see the world , is how others see the world. We continuously desire, our style of travel , selection of a partner, size of our wardrobe, our choice of food, hygiene practices, placement of furniture is resonating with another. These normal daily decisions should be, for us and us only.
At times the desire grows beyond what it should be. Striving to take control or manage, is an illusory state of being. Explanations do not equate control. You can’t control what others think.

Many a times we do things , even strange to us : Random adoption of beliefs , unique new social circle, different level of engagement with family, an abrupt disconnect from an important part of our life , complete isolation, absurd career moves , dangerous hobbies. These acts are normal of human nature.

Attributing and justifying them to self – preservation, impulsiveness, convenience or unconsciously going through life should be nobody’s business.

No matter how ordinary or extreme, you don’t owe…..

The one’s who get you , don’t need verbal or textual manuscripts from you. Neither do you feel the need. You are enough in yourself. Really, we alone are enough in ourselves, with nothing to prove to anybody! – Maya Angelou. We owe ourselves to not cross thin lines, between respecting accountability and respecting ourselves.