Gender Stereotypes

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You are not “supposed” to do this. You are not “supposed” to do that. Okay fine, you’re “ allowed” to do this. You can go there, but you can’t be here! You can live like that there, but what are you doing right now? Who are you going with, when will you come back? Do you know where you belong? Women don’t know how to drive. Do you know where your place is? Do you remember your boundaries? Why would you think about doing that? What are you wearing? You are looking like such a boy! Why you behaving like such a girl? You can’t go to the temple today. How are you working out so much? Weight lifting is only for men! What will PEOPLE say?

There are a million more things, but let’s stop for now.

Everyone’s been through this, heard it, read it, believed it or identified with these statements in some way. They have floating around since the time we were born. They have been dug into our thought process and living process.

Divisions have been made, distinctions have been declared, between man and woman, with extreme definitions of the masculine and feminine forcing us to believe and live a certain way.

School to college, to work, to every area of our life , it is defined by her and him. It’s more of an obsession rather than a simplification.

Everywhere we go, GENDER has become a way of life. There is no existence without gender. There is no logic without gender. There is no moving forward without the understanding of gender. Society has made this a comparative life , comparing gender, men and women.

What we don’t realize is, socially we are a comparative life but existentially we are a complete life.

Society keeps encouraging this division , this way of being which leads to conflict known as GENDER STEREOTYPING.

Let’s take a step back and examine why have we made these divisions? Is to glorify man and woman or is it to make life simpler? Hasn’t division always been the base of understanding human nature mentally and biologically?

These divisions have no purpose , defining how a man is supposed to live, how a woman is supposed to be has just led to compulsiveness in trying to achieve a certain way of life. Stereotypes whether formed through humor or disgrace have the same consequences.

Gender has no basis, it has no meaning. It is only because of the reproductive organs have we defined GENDER. If we remove the organs and we remove the male and female hormones, what will remain? A piece of life , that is it, all we will see around is a piece of life.

It is our compulsiveness with sexuality , with the physical body that has turned our society into a raging gender hungry race. When a child is born, it is the coming together of the male and female, it is ridiculous how gender is given such huge importance just based on the reproductive organs after birth.

Gender stereotyping is happening because of this obsession to carry one’s womanhood and manhood with them 24 hours a day. The only place where Gender is relevant is the bathroom and the bedroom.

Yes, gender stereotyping is all around us. The only examples that are picked up and spoken about are the one’s which affect people, which cause some grief to them. But if you look around and pay attention stereotyping is just present everywhere.

There is nothing as millennials that we NEED to DEAL with stereotypes. We need to break all identifications and barriers in our head and look at people as just people , as pure life. The more we talk about man and woman as separate entities the more deeper this issue will dig.

Instead of making divisions, let us approach this topic with togetherness and as a collective entity and not scrutinising the natural existential pattern we are supposed to follow and be.


Sssh, Can you keep a Secret ?


There is beauty in not knowing. There is far more beauty in not telling. The best secrets are the ones never shared. The most paramount moments are the ones experienced alone. There is comfort in just being. There is thrill in exclusivity

Sharing moments in the real and virtual world, starts as a habitual pattern and many a times ends with a hackneyed nature. The message often gets lost in translation. Some experiences are carved out especially for just us. These experiences are meant to just be. They are meant for us and us only.

We take great pride, in the objects we possess. Sole ownership, makes us view the object more favorably. Does that mean, we are open to sharing our possessions with the world? Then, why so lenient with experiences? Transferring this ownership effect from object to experience, let us give oneself the privilege of completely owning the moment as well!

Sharing information often leads to analyzing situations, analyzing people. Thoughts, feelings , behaviors are broken down to be made sense of. Once in a lifetime occurrences, undergo the most intense audits. Truth be repeated, human behavior rarely fails it’s outlandish, unusual nature. Ditch the scrutiny. Let the secret remain, and you a mystery!

Let’s open ourselves, more deeply to ourselves. Let’s be atypical and do things we never done. There is abundance in privateness, there is adventure in privateness. We are extraordinary in ourselves, to experience what this earth has to offer. As bizarre as it is, narratives and instagram will never be able to catch on the vibe.



Emotionally Unintelligent


Expressing what you feel for someone to that very someone, does this make you a super human? Not really, it’s just that no one deserves your confusion or displaced emotion.

We humans parallelly experience and interpret multiple emotions for different people around us all the time. The reason why we are capable of doing so is our advanced brain capacity among all living species.

We always know what’s going on in our head and for whom. Yes sometimes we get stuck but if we dig a little deep, we can manage, what we were trying to micromanage what got lost in translation.

It just takes effort and off course acceptance, to understand why we were feeling a certain way about a certain someone or a certain something, or just towards our own selves, which is why, we get lost . . . . .

The sad part is that, some people accredit all these realizations about digging deep and awareness of one’s emotions to a special kind “ those high on emotional intelligence “

Every single person has the same interiority with the same emotional intelligence; it is just a choice that every single person makes. Choices between acceptance or hiding behind defense mechanisms like displacement of emotions. Letting these defense mechanisms explain how un-established our emotions are.

What really matters is how much importance we give to thought and emotion in this whole energy exchange. Glorifying our own thoughts and emotions towards others is a waste of life.

What really matters is what people receive regardless of how we are feeling or what we are obsessing over.

What really matters is how we manage ourselves from within. This isn’t a super power; you need to stick your hands in mud, to smell a flower.

Now how did i become so smart, how did i let go of my stupid defence, this emotional unintelligence, well, the one who expresses, what they feel for someone to that very someone , knocked some sense 🙂

Math, outside a classroom!

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We like addition, we like subtraction, we like breaking things down. We like to understand what got us to a moment, why are we in this moment, how did we get to this moment. Especially if the moment is sitting on the extreme end of a spectrum. We just need to know how so happy or why this agony or how come only mediocrity. We just always want to know.

Whether the outcome is good, bad or better than expected, whether we felt awesome or dealing with confusion, all this knowing turns into nostalgic recollecting and quintessential storytelling. Repeatedly reminiscing everything that made your heart smile , head ache, body hurt and soul shine, all these wonderful experiences , you can safely say “are all mine”. Multiple reference points, multiple stimulus generators, its been colorful, dear God, you’ve been kind. Unabashedly celebrating moments to last a lifetime.

What about the moment, we are in, now? What is this debate, on being in the moment about? Does getting too nostalgic undermine the importance of where we are now? Is it necessary there has to be a deep cosmic, karmic connection between everything that was and everything that remains?


It might be fun, fixating how we came to a certain point. Truth is, after a while it doesn’t matter. The present moment demands our attention, independent of the additions and subtractions. It is tempting this endless calculation but what about this raw, untouched, current situation? We need to think and act now , we can survive and win this without the burden of past creation.

There is a thin line of balance and importance, between living this moment and reliving past madness, after all, we are always adding current moments, to our never ending calculus.

Just do it. . . NOW!


Thanks Nike for the motivation, but people don’t get it eh ?

Why is it so bloody difficult, to not be in the now? Why do we constantly think about our past and our future? What is so so wrong, with where we are now? Why are we so distracted? Why is being in the moment not enough? Why does it seem less? Why does it not feel right?

We enjoy thinking about our lovely past and our fantastic future!

Only if we realize what is right now, will also become a part of this lovely past one day. If we will find it lovely a couple of months later, why can’t we believe it to be lovely right now?


Addiction to memory, addiction to nostalgia, addiction to the fact that it’s always going to be there with us. What becomes a memory has permanent nature. What we are experiencing right now does not have that. Human beings are wired to fantasize and cling on to permanency, anything short lived is labeled outlandish.

Anything just left alone without being over analyzed, critically evaluated and detached from memory is seen as foreign. We still cannot make peace with it

People are advised to be in the moment, people are forced to let go of the past, I have to pinch myself at times to appreciate my surroundings and wake up from the shackles of my slumber! Being on the same frequency with where we stand right now is not a superpower, it is the most natural state of being and we have forgotten that. There are way too many cues pulling us to our past and drawing us to the future.

Everything and everyone reminding you of your past and treating you as you were in the past has no better way of navigating life and understanding you. It is sad but true how past experiences drive current and future dealings. Our past is not solid proof of the person we WERE.

Kill your darlings, burn them, be the phoenix that rises out of these ashes, fresh, powerful and blank!

The current moment has it’s own madness. You can only identify that when you will chuck memory and live out of awareness

There is no perfect day, everyday is just a colourful variant of the imagined perfect day. This moment right now is perfect , which is enough and absolutely okay!

There is no special occasion, that special occasion is now. Wear that dress today, workout right now, get that haircut now, and stop building momentum.

Momentum of this moment right now, is 100 times more powerful than planned momentum a week or month later.

Hell yeah, feel it?!




Questions on Solo Travel!

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So why did I travel alone far away from home? I still don’t know. I never will know, all I know is that I was yearning for it. I didn’t have any particular aim either. All I was sure of is that this was the most natural thing I could possibly do.

Both my experiences of solo travel have been fantastic! Describing them in detail isn’t very important, as I do have similar experiences on an everyday basis too. We are travelling alone all the time in our city as well. It is just in our head how exotic we believe a place is. Where you are standing might be paradise for one but a dead end for another.

However there were an insane number of questions people asked me and I am going to answer some of them here.

1. When and where are you planning your next trip?

In an hour, gotta leave for the gym, haha! Well initially I had a list of countries, actually not a list this whole travel diary of where I wanted to go. I had drawn the world map on the first page and then I had these lists.

I threw away that diary, I really don’t know when and where is my next trip, and it has stopped mattering. When I am ready for my next trip I will get the vibe. Whichever place wants me will send out a signal. I just need to pay attention.

I am not living with the burden of * have to travel the whole world *. Where I am meant to go I will go.

That is the same for everyone. Listen to your inner voice, don’t force travel, and don’t force a vacation. Where and when you are meant to go will happen on its own.

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2.Don’t you get bored?

No. Not at all. I have people to talk to, virtually and in front of me. In fact I wish that I had more time, to introspect and write. Boring is the last thing that happens. I have become very comfortable in spending time alone, facing my inner demons and all of that. There are many ways to connect with people even if you’re not staying with locals. There will always be many activities going on which you can become a part of.


3.How do you keep safe?

My 8 senses, I have an extra two. Kidding. Well I am more aware of my surroundings; I really do listen to that inner voice. I just get this feeling from within, where to set foot and where not too, don’t matter what time of the day and which place. Yes uncertainty of a new place, does interfere with the better judgment, but its totally up to you to decide, how much can you handle.

YOU have to listen to that inner voice, that means the universe is talking to you and it grows with time.

Carrying a laser tag or a scissor or any other smaller weapon is a good idea. Being in touch with family members, friends and that one special friend who is constantly keeping a check on you and who you are regularly updating is very important.

Do not dress to attract attention, blend in like a local. Do not consider yourself extraordinary, you are born from the same soil as others around you.


4.What do you eat? Where do you stay? How do you commute? Where do you get the money?

Normal Indian food, majority of my trip, totally avoiding any curd based dishes and salad. Maybe one day I would eat from Mc Donald’s or a pizza joint. I am a vegetarian so my meals are lighter and absolutely non spicy. I always carry a medicine bag, very particular about the water I drink. I did constantly check Zomato to help me eat at good restaurants.

If I am not able to stay with a friend in a particular city, then a hotel , which is centrally located on a main road and not, some random shady street. I never booked a hotel in advance, I would go to a place and if I got a good vibe I would stick on or otherwise move. The hotel should be well connected to the city’s public transport system. Always keep someone’s number from your hotel incase of emergency. I booked my hotels from Go Ibibo’s mobile app to get some discounts.

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I commute by foot, two wheeler, three wheeler, bus, cab, train etc, depending on whatever is available and the length of the commute.


Yes I do try and budget my eating, living and commuting but not compromising on safety and good health. I travel when I have some savings.

5. How much and what kind of luggage do you carry? How do you maintain hygiene?

One backpack! It is a priority for me to move swiftly and with least physical strain. I carry one backpack with all my belongings, 3 tee shirts, 2 pants, a night suit, shorts, a torch, toiletries, laptop, lightweight charger and adaptor. I make sure the clothes I carry dry up fast after washing. Always carry an extra lock and key.

Next time I wouldn’t mind carrying one backpack and a lighter bag in my hand with two comfortable handles, keeping only my absolute essentials in the backpack and my clothes in the other bag. I always make sure my pants and backpack have multiple pockets with zips.

Keeping oneself hydrated is primary, squatting while using a western style toilet makes a difference. Carrying loads of tissue paper, hand sanitiser, disposable soap strips and this spray called pee safe.


6. Why don’t you post anything on social media? Why aren’t you raping Instagram ?

Yes I document everything , I write and I take pictures. Honestly most of it is a very personal experience. Until I don’t see what value will it add to someone else’s life I don’t see the point in posting. Also it isn’t the smartest thing to do, to check in and leave trails on the Internet as to which location you are currently at. After all you are travelling ALONE.

7.Any advice you would like to give?

Nah. You will manage just fine. You will have a completely different experience from me and let that happen. Yes, if you are stuck, call or text me without doubt! Just keep safety as a priority. It is totally up to you if you want to read other travel blogs talking specifically about a place, accommodation and food (they can be quite useful too).

It’s your time, do what makes you happy, and you do not owe anyone anything.

Just keep in mind how to reduce your carbon footprint while travelling. Slow travel if you can.

Whatever you do remember it’s your experience and you own it, no one can take that away from YOU!

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Everyone does travel solo, yeah you too!

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Travelling solo is not reserved for a special kind. You don’t need muscles of steel and strength of a canine. It isn’t about willpower or semi planned rebellion. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself or any other human.

Solo travel has been romanticised and fantasised a little too much. Truth is we solo travel every single day, why is it, no one talks about that? All the time we spend alone commuting from one place to another alone, what is it, if not solo travel?

Solo travel is a natural state of being, yes exploring new territories geographically and cognitively might seem like an anomaly. We do it in our daily lives as well, just with reduced awareness and attentiveness, due to our habitual patterns accustomed to a certain repetitive stimuli, ignoring subtle changes.

Set yourself free from placing solo travel as anything fancy. Don’t stop yourself, from leaving home and travelling outside. If we don’t think twice, before going on with daily life, why this anxiety ? Uncertainty.

We have made travel everything but ordinary.

I understand there are certain concerns about safety, finances, accommodation and transport in a new place. One day at a time, navigating through the unknown, you will survive. Open yourself up, how small and big the world is, you will realize.

I have travelled solo, far away geographically, from home. I found it very exciting, emotional, growth inducing, this sudden unexplained wisdom coming out of my mouth and off course unusual calmness.

6 months later I would say that I am having these amazing experiences sitting at a coffee shop outside my house where I am writing this article. I am equally thrilled. I will be forever grateful for those 40 days to bring me here, but life is beautiful every single day.

6 months ago if you had asked me, I would’ve spoken as if I just got back from Disneyland, away from real life, routine life, on some high.

Set yourself free from setting solo travel away from home as a parameter of personal growth. Bloom wherever you are planted, this extraordinary life , don’t take it for granted.


What is this word. . TRAVEL ?

IMG_9909 (1)Really, what does this word travel mean? Is it a thing, an experience, an end result, a positive reinforcement, a lifestyle, a job, a holiday? We will never know, let’s leave it open ended.

For me its plain simple movement, I travel everyday, from my house to the gym, from my house to the basket ball court, from my house to this coffee shop etc.

Again, why am I calling it travel and not commute ? Well, this is a journey I enjoy no matter the distance and time consumed every single day, no matter if I have a ticket or not these are my daily travels.

Now to be honest I’ve been travelling since the day I was born, actually everyone has. Commutes which require tickets and passports and living outside your hometown do not define travel.

Let’s shift this notion of travel as a luxury, travel as an escape to something we do everyday. Travel is a basic state of being. We are allowed to enjoy our daily commutes, its okay to be in a good mood on the way to office, it’s perfectly natural to be equally creative even while travelling to get groceries. Why not? Why do we have to associate travel as extraordinary?

Travel is not about a place or a destination, just your state of mind. You don’t want to be sitting in Buckingham palace and thinking how messy your room is!

It’s about the vibe we share with the universe. What makes it special is when we know every step we are taking is the right step ahead. Walking to the bakery or taking a flight to Hong Kong, if it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.

Let’s remember we are travelling all the time, even in our own city. I know these weekend getaways are exciting, but looking left and right at red lights while sat at a red light can also be fantastic. You don’t have to schedule happiness for a vacation, smiling on your daily travels will not reduce your charm.

Travel is not a separate entity. You’re never not travelling. Don’t treat it as oregano; it’s a piece of the pizza you’re eating! You’re travelling all the time, whether you see it or not, even if not outside, there is this never-ending homeostasis, always taking place inside, within you.



Don’t be scared to go on THAT Road Trip!

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Have a driver’s license ? Yes! Great. Ever thought of doing that one trip that will give you goosebumps, that will still make you question what pleasure are you getting out of this mad travel experience? Even years after, the trip is over! Well this is it ,Drive down!

Scary and spine chilling , waiting to be explored ,what better way to go in your own sweet ride on this spectacularly rocky beautiful road ?!

5 crazy reasons to do this

1. Take your own time
Whichever route you plan to drive through, you can take your own sweet time. There are no compulsions of reaching in this allotted time plan. Detours and random stops are more fun when last minute. No rules ,just drive, stop if you get the vibe.

2. The view
The kind of beauty that makes you just forget everything, even the names of all those Instagram filters. Give it a chance , soak in its energy ,lets be grateful and thank the almighty. Take as much time as you want , cry if you wish , but there exists such a place , raw and enigmatic, welcoming you with all her grace. Give it your undivided attention , let the nostalgia creep in , how can something be so possibly breathtaking ? Such a wonder , his creation .

3. You can always go back
Getting anxious , don’t feel good , having doubts , you can go back. No one is going to judge you. Just take a U Turn and enjoy the experience until now . Don’t feel it , don’t do it. In your own vehicle you ALWAYS have that option.

4. Questionable moments
There will be these moments you will want to slap yourself in the face. Why have I put myself in this place ? Why am I flirting with danger ? Every bump , every turn, every cut , is this safe or am I going to get hurt ? Doubt turning into fear and fear turning into awe, you rub your forehead and smile, never have you been so sure!

5. You own this
YES , this is totally yours, your one and only. Instances of courage, times of vulnerability, trusting the wheels and this road. Put yourself out there, the universe is there to guide you. What better way to get to know yourself deeper, this journey was meant to be , coming back with intangible experience and growth.

JUST go for it , this adventure of a lifetime , stop living it , vicariously in your mind . Go hit the road, its waiting for you , one thing’s for sure , your driving skills will improve. Navigate the road like you navigate life , its going to be one hell of a ride!

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Imagine your body being tied up, no , not to discover your fifty shades, but with these ropes and chains. Face up, stomach flat, stuck to the ground, unable to get free from this weight. All we can think of is how to get out of this mess and dissociate with everything bringing us down . After all physical pain takes over and becomes the highest level of functioning eating all our attention. Nothing else matters.

Now imagine a situation where we are stuck like this but have absolutely no idea how deep these ropes and chains are digging through our skin. Spiraling further with these marks getting uglier, seeping through bone and muscle the hold is getting tighter. Unable to feel the discomfort , keep getting tangled in this spineless salmagundi . Not talking about pleasure through pain , numbness my drug, arbitrary phase . Why aren’t we reacting to this obvious agony ?

Silent torture.

Invisible ropes and chains with no obvious inflicting piercing physical pain.

From a very young age we put on weight , depositing shreds in our mind and body. Everything we come across we start identifying, making it a part of us. We just keep adding and adding and adding. Only some dramatic occasions after being wronged do we subtract a little here and there. Then again to fill the void adding and adding and adding.

Why ?

Its fun , adding is fun, adding makes us US, it builds our identity , believing into a being a sum of accumulated identities. Giving us a sense of self , with all these additions we are not alone.

Just stop being a glue stick attracting everything that comes your away and taking it along to your grave. There is no additional intellect in identifying with a certain kind. There is no smartness in restricting to a particular type.

We only think about something how we have identified with it. We all also know how strong the chances are of changing the way we think.

There is nothing untrustworthy in not sticking on. Let the glue stick dry up, and dust fall off, nothing sensational in rolling along with these particles stuck to you till your very last day.

Changing colours, adaption is a good way to be, it’s only a problem for others as they are scared of unpredictability.

Stop believing whom you were, what you are, who you might be.

Let go, drop your identity, declutter, set yourself free. BE whoever you want to be , BE whatever you want to be!! As long as you want, go as deep as you like.

There is ecstasy in nothingness and magic in fluidity, experience this life in all capacity beyond this stagnant limited identity